If I were Queen of DeKalb for a day, my first act would be to run Victor Wogen out of town on a rail. The man is congenitally incapable of following the rules. Just last Monday he parked in a 30-minute visitors’ spot for 3-1/2 hours. I hope he gets ticketed the next time he does it because it would be good for general morale.

My second act would be to fire all the administrators who enabled Wogen in the no-bid contract schemes. The people who gave us this mess are the last I would trust to fix it now. There’s not enough time in the world to rehabilitate a group that not only doesn’t understand the outrage, but actually seems to think a pat on the back for its cleverness is in order. At last count, that means at least three people should lose their jobs.

My third act would be to ask City Council if they know what a laughingstock is. Unless I’m reading the cards all wrong here, they are going to fail to clean the sleaze out of their ranks. Their only hope, then, for retaining any sort of credibility is to enact very strict and comprehensive ethics policies but so far they seem pretty lukewarm on that, even.

Council, please. If there be any among you with a capacity for shame, demonstrate it now. Then show us your ‘nads if you have any.